Thursday, May 26, 2005

Um, Our Neighbours

I'm at it again. Canvassing door-to-door. This time for the Canadian National Institute for the Blind. Invariably, my husband will ask idly who called, and after my response, his anguished "not again!". Can't I just say no, I've already canvassed for two other charitable causes in the last few months, after all. Sadly, it seems I cannot say no. Someone's gotta do it, I might as well. Might as well test my largely generous neighbours' patience with yet another incursion into their privacy. Knocking at their doors, asking for money; if this isn't a truly miserable thing to do, then tell me what is.

So, first to Susan's door. Susan with the wide, wide smile (she was once a dental assistant in the Army) and the always-welcoming manner. Susan must be the most socially-inclined person in my experience, always reaching out for social occasions, to meet new people, to bring people together with her little winter-and-spring soirees. Susan with the socially-repressed husband, a true curmudgeon, whose word, in this little family, is law. Both personalities obviously genetically endowed; late marriage for each - question is, why did she marry him? A teen-age girl, a younger boy, both of whom appear to have inherited their father's personality; all three would prefer to cross the street rather than have to acknowledge the presence of a neighbour. Yet, he responds generously to charitable appeals and does have a certain shy charm. This same person who would never, ever permit a neighbour to borrow even a small, cheap hand tool that he owns. Charles is a techie; does this explain anything? This person of whom his wife is forever saying "Charles won't let me", or "Charles doesn't want me to"; one and the same statement. They've been our next-door neighbours for 14 years. We can't have our grandchild play with Susan's son because he cannot be trusted not to wreak harm on others. Fact is, our grandchild won't play with him because, she says, 'he's so mean'.

Next door, an even younger couple, moved in four years ago. He's a big, big bloke, and she's no slouch in that department, either, though both are fit. Both have truly blooming personalities and will happily engage with anyone. Three very small children, lovely offspring, already exhibiting their parents' sweet temperaments. He's a manager for a vehicle-leasing company, and she free-lances as an album-and-memorabilia teacher (spare me!). Invariably generous in their response to charitable soliciting. When she's off somewhere, he cares for his tiny crew as ably as she does, cradling the 11-month-old in his ample arms, with the 4 and the 6-year-olds trailing behind.

Next, an East Indian couple whom we've known for 14 years, he with the slight frame and booming voice, she whose face has the timeless beauty, albeit advanced, of the east, and whose 22-year-old daughter exemplifies that same beauty in its freshness of years. They're shy, but comfortable with those they know. They've surmounted personal difficulties of many kinds and remain what they essentially are, decent, sweet-mannered people whose focus now is their slightly-built, beautifully-featured soccer-and-hockey-playing teen-age son. They give modestly bespeaking a tradition unknown to me.

A young couple who moved to the street several years back when the former owners were re-assigned (he an RCMP officer who became dreadfully tired of his job, protecting 24 Sussex Drive and its inhabitants, coming to detest the trips abroad when the Prime Minister and his entourage travelled to far-flung places, feeling he'd had enough of the bumph, and requested a transfer; she a true Heidi, for such was her name, a blonde, slender and cheerful young woman) both of whom I miss, but the new house-owners are equally blessed with similar personal characteristics; neither the former owners or the present ones have children, but this young couple have a Beagle puppy whom they treat as a child. Former and present welcome one with open arms and give gladly.

Then a Francophone, rather reserved, still friendly public transit worker and his Anglophone public school support-worker wife, also reserved and somewhat removed from the community they live in. He must have complete order in his life, his enviable lawn cut just so, their vehicles cleaned and washed certain days of the week, every week. They give slightly and selectively, their many years on this street barely noticed by the communitarian-inclined.

Ah, next, a former nurse whose three-time battle with breast cancer impressed on her the many alternative things she could manage with her life. Her husband, a quiet and unassuming man (both down-Easterners back when) leaves far less of an impression than she does with her kind yet forceful personality. She now travels extensively, both as a sales representative for a pharmaceutical company and as a team-member with an award-winning dragonboat group. Their daughter has launched her own life away from home, and is happier for it, while their son, a quiet, introspective but friendly boy devoted to mountain biking is still at home.

Beside them, an Eastern European man who has lived on this street as long as most of its residents and of whom very little is known. In fact, he's seldom seen at all. He moved into this house with his wife who appeared to have become severely home-sick and decided to remove back to their home country while he decided to stay on here, rattling about on his own in this largish house. On the rare occasion when I have caught him at home he has proven to be a sweet mannered, wistful-seeming man who happily contributes to charitable causes.

Last on that side of the street, a slight, always-shyly-smiling lawyer, partner in his own law firm whose former wife was a tall, willowy, pretty woman inclined to a certain kind of, how shall I put it? ditziness, which finally led to born-again attachment to an odd Christian sect. Reason for the break-up which left their two children, teen-age girl and boy floundering between each home? her claim that he was too controlling. He and his new friend, whom he introduced me to - a young woman whose looks appear more compatible with his needs - in the driveway as they were heading out for a pleasant evening walk, graced my request generously.

Is this getting boring? I'll illustrate only a choice few more. Crossing the street, home of a fill-in elementary teacher and her husband, computer hardware specialist. She's brash and inclined to social ignorance, he's shy but not averse to greeting neighbours. Two children, fraternal twins, as unalike as two children could possibly be in every possible way, but who still manage, between them to swarm and intimidate other children - an event their mother appears not to notice. Generosity? She claims she never grew up with it and does not know how to practise it. I believe her, on the evidence.

Okay, I'm skipping now. On to the next. Homeowners a pair of military lawyers. He's of Dutch extraction (apropos of nothing) whose parents at one time spent a lot of time with their children until his mother died of colon cancer five years ago. Nannies from time to time, to look after their two children; more often extended family members, notably parents, for while at times each parent is off on extended duty abroad, at times they're off on separate missions, but both at the same time. Very personable, both, with an inclination toward pretentiousness, both verbal and practical. But they give, nicely, kindly, generously.

Gonna skip lots, because I'm getting tired of this myself. Homeowners on this street perhaps 15 years, both worked for the government as software programmers, then with a large industrial software company. She retired about 8 years ago when she was likely 42, and you can multiply that number by 10 for her weight. He's always on the go, with assignments mostly in the U.S., so he commutes on week-ends. Strangers on the street for a long time, but finally integrated socially. Sadly her weight leaves her unable to amble the street, so she is parked full-time on a bench in front of her house, with her three lovely cats. She considers herself a gourmet cook, and is an avid e-Bay consumer. The most generous charitable giver.

Look, I just can't take this any more. Gotta go. Two more houses left, before I call it quits on this one. Lots more neighbours, but I'll leave with this last picture: Francophone couple, both government workers, mid- to low-level. Lots of time off the job, and how the hell do they do it, even with holidays and sick days, beats me. Two teen-age children now, but when they moved in about 10 years ago the children were toddlers. Parents really decent, very nice people, children ditto. Another uxorious man; anything she says she wants he wants. She's become incredibly hefty, like her dear departed father. Her mother, a nurse, remains trim. She has insatiable wants of the house-proud variety. Let's see: in-ground swimming pool, cottage-like extension back of the house, connected to huge, tiered decks. Re-roof before required, all windows to be replaced because of rot - because of neglect. But he's a hard, hard worker, laying ceramic floors, doing his best to please her. They give, not generously, but who cares - the point is they see the need to respond and that's more than good enough.

Damn! I'm really finished now. Gotta do the ironing before our granddaughter gets home.

Hey, there's us too. We're someone's neighbours on the street. We're really nice. Everyone likes us, how could they not? Gee, I guess someone else should be writing this, not me. That is, if you're really interested in what we're like. You know, that thing called impartiality? Oh well, not to be.

Cheerio

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