Wot? Never Enuff!
Well, from all accounts it does really appear that there is never enough. Enough opportunities to divest oneself of hard-earned wages on items that beckon, that promise to make life 'better'. Who doesn't want to improve the quality of their lives in any event? This come-hither promise of a better life can be seen in advertisements from beer to holidays abroad. Everything is for sale, you've just got to want it enough. And don't we want it. All of it. Now.Public Relations and Advertising companies have us down pat. They know how to appeal to the greed in all of us. If we're unhappy with our lot in life everything can be made better by acquiring a better way of life. That doesn't include of course, a more understanding partner, one who will cherish your every idiot impulse, nor does it include a guarantee of good health, a lifestyle more compatible with a healthy environment, nor does it include a formula for a more compassionate understanding and helpful personality, nor does it include some kindly, avuncular advice on how to optimize the scarce dollars you earn. That's for losers, after all, people who get touchy-feely about life and get all introspective and doubtful about the whirlwind of the rat race.
Nope, that won't do it. A new car travelling at the speed of light over a landscape resembling the Alberta badlands? Hmm, holds promise. A getaway to a Caribbean vacation hot spot? Kind of gets you right here; that'll do, lots of photo opportunities and rest and relaxation on a gleaming sand-covered beach reaching out to aquamarine warm waters; isn't that the life? Beer to loosen up those awkward social moments and aid and assist in letting go of inhibitions? A new wardrobe reflecting the latest trends and fads would surely make you over into the most desirable with-it catch of the season, right? Electronics, the newest flat-screen plasma screens to enjoy all those blockbuster films coming out of Hollywood; the fastest computer on the market to download all those Internet games. You name it, it's available. Why deny yourself?
And look you can actually save money by getting these things when they're "on sale"! Sure, they're always for sale, but when they're on sale you can save, save, save big time. You aren't certain you want to go to Antigua for a blockbuster holiday? Why not, think of all the money you'd save. How about that new, pricey, but so lovely butter-soft leather sofa set? Expensive, ouch! But it's on sale, think of all the money you'll save by buying it now.
That's it, isn't it? You'll be much happier, far more fulfilled if you could only fill your life with these excruciatingly wonderful tidbits of ownership. And they're on sale! If you think you can't afford these things, you're just not with it. Think instead of all the money you'll be saving buying them now, while they're on sale! And you can live with these life-enhancing products for free for a full year, before payments begin to kick in. Hey, almost forgot: no GST, no PST spells bargain!
What better time than Boxing Day? Never mind, you don't really feel exhausted, all played out from shopping endlessly for the Christmas Day that just passed. Remember, it's going to come baaaack! You can get ahead of the game by starting your shopping for Christmas 2006 right now. Just think of that warm and cozy feeling you'll have knowing you've started out on the right track!
Were you one of those thousands upon thousands of people across this country who lined up before dawn for a super-duper chance at one of that chain's door-crasher specials? Good on you! You and all the other smart shoppers you exemplify will have spent well in excess of another $400 after spending all that other money in the months leading up to Christmas! Good on you! Did you mind that lineup to the cashier's checkout that took you three-quarters of an hour to get through to pay for your purchase/s? No? Good on you! How about that hour and a half to even get into the store to get to all those beckoning items you just can't live without? Did you mind that wait? You didn't? Good on you!
Hey, what a fabulous opportunity all of this represents. Good thing you know value when you hear about it, see it, touch it, pay for it. And how about those five, six, eight and nine-year-old kids accompanying their parents for this fun occasion? They've saved up their allowance, have a fairly good idea what they'll be looking for, don't plan on being confused at all the turmoil, and they'll come away from this really, really positive experience confirmed shoppers. Good on them!
Opportunities. Taking advantage of opportunities, that's what it's all about. I understand now what eluded me before. My neighbour who went out Boxing Day morning nice and early to 'take advantage' of all the bargains kept repeating this satisfying mantra: "take advantage". It isn't retail operations aided and abetted handily by the advertising industry taking advantage of gullible, dissatisfied people who already own too much 'stuff''. Not at all, this is an obvious instance of discriminating shoppers dedicated to the task at hand: taking advantage of opportunities.
Urp.
posted by Pieface @ Tuesday, December 27, 2005
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