Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The Better to Bite You With, My Dear!

Well, would you look at that! This kitten has teeth, no, fangs, and claws too, if you please. Back into the limelight, this time to plead once again on behalf of those sweet little white thingies, what're they called? oh yes, Whitecoat seals.

Brigette is coming to Ottawa, hurrah! She wants to meet with our new prime minister? Oh, gee whiz. Whatever for? She's heard that celebrities have the ear of the highest placed in this land? Oh Brigette dear, that was before, that was back when we had our own touchy-feely Paul Martin as prime minister. Brigette, you would not want to meet this new one, trust me.

And guess wot? Even Bono discovered that you can make friends in high political places, and extract promises from them, even truly worthwhile promises on behalf of sterling causes, but you cannot make them deliver. Honestly, good intentions don't always fly when it comes to hard decision-making. And Brigette, most Canadians would have been glad to deliver on Bono's pet cause; to deliver a greater percentage of Canadian GDP in aid to developing countries.

But your cause? Forget it. Not for your eponymous Foundation, nor the many others with which yours is allied. You may be a very nice old (albeit, one imagines slightly dotty) bird, suffering paroxysms of anxiety about the welfare of animals, but it just isn't on, dearie. Not because you're a has-been and our new prime minister is a sour, leaden approximation of a human being, but because there are other causes which have precedence.

Besides which, why would this man, the official representative of this lovely country want to meet with somone who calls for a total boycott of Canadian products? He wouldn't be serving his country very well to do so, would he? You're begging "all consumers in all countries to stop buying Canadian products!" as goes your memo. Whoa! that's one big beg, kitten-lady.

You aver that the Canadian "state" is insensitive to the suffering of massacred seals, despite protests from the whole world. Your economic boycott is intended to bring this country to its senses, if not its financial knees, since, as you so authoratatively say, "money seems to be its only interest". Ah, so. I mean kiddo, if you say it, it must be so. No?

Speaking of business and economic bulldozers, how about those animal welfare groups? Smacking successes, no less. Talk about thriving businesses! How about those worldwide revenues? Zowie!

Well, guess what? Most people do care about the welfare of animals, and in fact go out of their way to make life pleasant as possible for many animals, particularly those of the pet persuasion. And, guess what? Most people on this globe actually eat animals of one kind or another, it's their preferred diet, when available. Horrible, isn't it? Yes, none of us like to think about it.

And, guess what also? Also, people in the northern Hemisphere often wear animal skins; have done so for an eternity, continue to do so. Ugh! Hey, animals are a renewable resource. We're not using petroleum products to manufacture garments here; we're using an available, renewable, natural resource. This too has been done since time immemorial.

Do yourself and everyone else a favour; find another cause, say for example, collect funds to feed the starving children in the Congo. Now there's a cause, one that no one could credibly criticize. Trust your fellow human beings to express kindness and concern toward the lessser creatures on this earth and turn your energies where they might actually help make a better world.

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