Dumb and Dumber
What is it with people, particularly people who are reputed to be blessed with somewhat in the range of average intelligence, and certainly with the command of greater financial resources than they might perhaps deserve...? Is it not a matter of values and preoccupations, prerogatives and obligations, well yes it is, certainly it is all of that.We have, for example, a neighbour, two houses distant from our home. Correction: two neighbours, a man and wife, and, in addition, three lovely and very young children. They, the parents, are reasonably intelligent, and it's obvious that the children will grow up to be moderately intelligent, productive members of society. Their parents care about them, it's rather obvious in the care the children are given. While I remain personally critical of mothers who leave their children off at day-cares while they pursue careers rather than render to children what is rightfully theirs: the presence of a full-time caring mother, I should have no criticism of this young mother who is indeed at home full-time with her children. And when she is not available, her husband makes every effort to ensure that he is there with the children, giving them his unconditional love and attention.
This young woman is the kind of person anyone would be glad to have for a neighbour. A friend, a daughter, a sister, a mother. So, why be critical? Why indeed. She is also the type of young woman who is fairly self-assured, comfortable with herself, an integral part of her community. She takes personal pride in knowing what is happening in the community. My husband sees her almost daily when he jogs off to the end of the street to pick up our granddaughter from the school bus stop, and our neighbour does the same with her child. She has asked my husband on occasion to bring her child home as well, when one of her younger children has fallen asleep at home and she is loathe to wake them. A good mom.
Her husband obviously makes a fine living. I say obviously because they have been able to afford a really lovely single-family home in a very nice neighbourhood, and more power to them. This young woman, apart from looking after her three children, her home, has reached into the community to do other things. I recall when I was young like her, I did likewise: I volunteered at my children's school, I did volunteer work at our local library, and with the Boy Scouts/Cubs and Girl Guides/Brownies, and I also did volunteer door-to-door canvassing. This young woman may very well do some of these things as well. But she also does something quite different, obviously being an enterprising soul.
She has met other young women like herself at play groups and other venues where young mothers are wont to gather. And from these contacts has bloomed a business. She guides other young women in a vital element of life: memories. An industry has grown, unaccountably, in the pursuit of honouring family events, memories of children growing up, holiday events, any manner of memorable occasion. It is no longer sufficient to take photographs and place them chronologically into treasured photograph albums to be handed down through the family. Not sophisticated, not interesting enough for that segment of today's families who obviously have too much in the way of disposable income.
Now, young mothers are enraptured by glitzy and ornamental albums dressed up with all manner of bits and pieces to make them truly special in their estimation. A healthy enterprise in franchising goods that enable the personally ambitious-minded among the young mothers of today has grown to the point where young mothers feel that if they're not engaged in this enterprise they cannot possibly demonstrate how adequately they adore their young, and prepare their futures. The result is that our enterprising neighbour runs workshops where she displays products the use of which enables these young mothers to produce enviable albums of memories for their families. This doesn't come cheaply.
While we live in a fairly middle-class neighbourhood, we're not all that far from people whose daily lives are rife with worries about paying their mortgages, taxes, utilities bills, children's expenses. We have a food bank right in this neighbourhood whose resources are continually being strained. It is my contention that intelligent, compassionate people, realizing that they have been fortunate through a turn in their lives to live comfortably, owe something to those among them that are not able to realize the comfort that they do. If these young mothers have so much disposable income that they feel good about lavishing it on such inconsequential items, why not direct those funds instead where it can do good for others?
Why not, why not, for heaven's sake? I'm not making assumptions here. You could very well contend that these families who are so comfortably off, spend their discretional income in ways that they wish, and also give charitably. This has not been my experience. And more's the pity. Fact is, these young women could easily accomplish the memory-valuable albums they desire on their own, with a little creative imagination, and a lot less money. Should they wish to. But there's something about doing what other people are doing, to be part of a 'smart' set, an 'in' crowd, to share in the good feelings about being able to do these things, to demonstrate to one another just how hip they are. Why not direct those feelings outward, to encompass the needs of others who cannot afford such extravegances?
Dumb, just indescribably, selfishly oblivious.
posted by Pieface @ Sunday, November 27, 2005
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