What's Next?
Well, she had offered when she informed him that it was time they separated, to continue to share the house with him. They could continue to live together, amicably, she said, if he agreed, until such time as they were able to sell the house and share the proceeds so they could each go their separate ways. It would hardly make any difference to the way they were living together in any event, she figured. And he would understand that the situation was a temporary one, until they each went their separate ways. They were, after all, both half-owners of the house, although he never, ever referred to the house as anything but his and his alone. This, despite the fact that when he was in danger of losing it she gave him the $24,000 she had realized from the sale of her house. Trouble was, he wouldn't agree, and instead began screaming at her, that she was a stupid bitch, a vulture, and that it was his house and if she wanted anything out of it she would have to go to court.Well, she did just that. Filed papers with family court. He moved out with some of his possessions, and returned to the house at intervals when she wasn't home. Taking some of his things, but also things that did not belong to him at all. Their original agreement in living together once they'd established that she was half-owner, was that he would pay the mortgage and property taxes, she would pay the utility bills, the food bills and, as it turned out she also paid for repairs, for new appliances, any new pieces of furniture.
When she had originally moved in with him he had been seriously in arrears with his mortgage payments, and property taxes, and was in danger of losing the property. Her investment had staved that event off, but now, almost seven years later he was once again in arrears in both taxes and mortgage. Over the years he had come to her to bail him out when he was in need of money and had overtaxed his credit cards, and she had obliged.
Over the years he had also steadily begun drinking more, every day. When we had first met him he had informed us that his father had died, an alcoholic. Why warning lights didn't go off in our daughter's head then and earlier heaven knows. Why, because he offered a solicitous-seeming ear to her loneliness, given her emotional support that she felt was genuine, did she ever think, without having known him for a longer period of time, that he was as he seemed? Now she flagellates herself, but in the process of this long procedure we're also flagellated - again.
When we were over on Saturday so her father could change the locks on the two doors, I once again admired the way she was able to maintain the house despite the presence of all her animals. The house is neat, clean and tidy, and colourful. It has good bones, but his reluctance over the years to do even simple basic maintenance means it is in need of some repair work. The double-glazed sliding doors are now single, because in one of the sliders one of the panes had shattered several years ago and he had never replaced it. So that now, in the winter, ice builds up over the entire surface of the door, on the inside of the house.
The vanity in the main bathroom is in need of replacement as is the sink within it, both having long ago seen better days. It wouldn't cost much (she would have paid for it) and it wouldn't be a big job to replace it. Her father had offered to do the work for them. Little things like replacing a broken handle, a door pull, a stair tread which needed to be re-glued, nothing ever got done. If it was chopping wood, it would get done, he loved chopping wood.
It made her nervous and upset that he would enter the house in her absence. She worried that he would abuse the animals, or throw them out of the house. The largest of her dogs, a Malamute-Shepherd mix rescued as a puppy from Iqaluit, cowered in the presence of their veterinarian when she had taken it for a routine visit. The dog, large as it is, tried to hide under a chair. The veterinarian was concerned, knowing this animal well, and always in the past having been greeted warmly by it. They both realized that the dog was being abused, and this could only have happened in her absence from the house.
So, the decision to change the locks in the doors, and her father obliged. Now, we're waiting and worried. What his reaction will be when he tries to unlock the doors to enter the house again in her absence. She has experienced his violent temper. Now, after all this time, she showed me the heavy, small farm implements we had bought many years ago as Canadiana antiques and given to her. Shattered, because he had thrown them. At her? I'm fearful of asking. A few other items, a small old painting we had given to her, its frame askew as a result of being thrown.
I entreated with her to go and see her closest neighbour. Living in the countryside, there are no really close neighbours as we know them in an urban setting, but this neighbour and his wife have been kind to them, an older couple. He had been there before her, of course, telling them what had happened - at least his version of it. No matter, I wanted her to communicate to them just a little bit of 'her version' so they could be alerted to potential trouble.
Now, we wait.
posted by Pieface @ Monday, November 14, 2005
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