Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be
So what is it with people? Seems nothing is done by half-measures, there appears to be no moderation in the way people behave with respect to borrowing. And lenders, do they get what they deserve by being generous with their possessions? Possessions are, after all, replaceable, although we do tend to become, well, possessive about them.
We know from practical experience that there are people who would never relinquish to others for a moment's modest use the most inconsequential of their possessions. Fact is, we simply do not, as a general rule, ever ask anyone for the use of anything they own, even for a small space of time, even for the most basic of tasks. I suppose it's because we don't want to be in the position of 'owing' anyone anything. Fact is, in a weak moment, seeing our next-door neighbour a few years back using a very rudimentary tool he'd recently acquired to aerate his lawn, we asked if we could give it a try. This, a neighbour to whom over the years we have loaned out various tools when asked. Well, this little tool, which cost him all of $3 was not to leave his possession for anyone else's use, even for a try-out. Of course we went out and bought one of our own and used it a few times, while his was laid away never to be used again, for the truth is, its use represented an awful lot of labour for little reward. Funny, he has since never asked to borrow anything of ours.
On the other hand, many of our neighbours, and I should hasten to add here, we have very good neighbours for the most part, and are kindly disposed toward all of them, and hope that this spirit of neighbourly appreciation is reciprocated - ask often if they may make use of various of our household tools. It is a rare occasion when anyone's such request is denied. But more about denial later.
My husband, being the handyman that he is, and capable of performing miracles with home repairs and renovations sees great value in owning a wide variety of tools, all of which he uses at one time and another, repeatedly. Whether the tool be various types of ladders for specific jobs, or wrenches specific to various uses, or saws, he has them all. Often he will offer the use of some of his tools unasked, when he observes a neighbour attempting to perform a bit of work that he seems unprepared for. Not only does he offer tools, he also offers his physical assistance at times as well.
Like the time, for example, when one of our neighbours asked for his help installing a replacement door frame and my husband ended up doing most of the work because our neighbour hadn't had much experience. When it was discovered that they were in need of a segment of the frame my husband, using his own wood, cut the needed piece to size. Our neighbour complained that my husband had taken down the dimensions wrong and consequently cut the wood to the incorrect dimensions. Then later apologized, when he realized that he had himself given the dimensions to my husband. And a month later that same neighbour left a long piece of wood on our porch with written instructions on how he would like my husband to use his router to shape it for a job he had in mind in his home. Nothing like being appreciated, although to be fair, this same neighbour has offered, unlike many others, to be of help himself to us should my husband ever require assistance with something.
With rare exceptions, we have found that when someone takes temporary possession of a tool be it valuable or otherwise, they somehow appear to suffer from owner-amnesia. After a period of time when it has become obvious the use of the tool is past and gone we've had to approach various neighbours to enquire with respect to the whereabouts of a tool, whereupon the neighbour has experienced a sudden memory jolt, and retrieved the tool for us. It has also happened that a neighbour will see us walking down the street, hail us and attempt to hand over to us a pair of long-handled garden tools. I will gently inform this hale and hearty individual, many years our junior, that it will be appreciated if he walks the tools down to our home, encumbered as we are with our dogs' leashes and freshly retrieved mail.
On occasion my husband will struggle with a large and heavy ladder that one of our neighbours is in need of, but her husband happens to be absent at the critical time, and mine will haul it over to her home. When the promised return date elapses, some neighbours are cognizant enough of responsibility to inform us that the job is not yet done, and might they retain the ladder for another week or so and that's perfectly fine. But when the very same neighbour calls some months later asking for the use of the ladder once again, this time to assist professional window installers they have retained whose own ladders appear to be insufficient for the job at hand, we must demur. Fact is, we also at times have need of our own tools, and that particular ladder, along with others, happened to be in active use at the time of request.
Yet we're still dazzled at the fact that professional window installers will arrive at a domestic job site without a requisite tool of their trade, so that their client will turn to a neighbour to supply for these professionals this vital tool which will enable them to get on with their job.
Arrgh!
posted by Pieface @ Friday, December 09, 2005
<< Home