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Saturday, August 11, 2018

The Ecstatic Bride

Ayu, 11, kisses the hand of her new husband Che Abdul Karim, 41 as her mother looks on. Picture: TwitterSource:Supplied

"In Islamic procedure, as long as a bride agrees, her parents agree and the girl has had her menstrual period, then a marriage is O.K."
"Che Karim is a good Muslim, he always comes for prayer, and he is a responsible man."
Sayed Noordin imam, Kuala Betis mosque, Malaysia

"It would be unjust to lynch someone on social media because of how we feel about the issue [of child 'brides' in marriage to Muslim men]."
Wan Azizah Wan Ismail, Malaysian deputy prime minister

"This is a practice from many centuries ago and at this stage in Malaysia's growth and development, child marriage is not acceptable."
Charles Santiago, lawmaker, governing coalition

"The girl is a victim, no doubt about it."
"Why are we dillydallying in protecting a child? The lack of serious urgency about this case is disturbing."
Latheefa Koya, Muslim human rights lawyer

Malaysian national Che Abdul Karim, 41, poses with his latest wife Ayu, 11, (centre) and her mother (left) at a home in the Thai border village of Sugai Golok. Picture: TwitterSource:Supplied

Norazila, 14, and Ayu, 11 were neighbours in Gua Musang, Malaysia. They were also inseparable, two little girls who regarded one another as their best friends. They did everything together, shared each other's secrets, enjoyed sleepovers, exchanged selfies, talked about boys, just the normal things that young girls do, delighting in the companionship of an intimate who thought as they did, took pleasure in what they did, valued their company, and provided comfort and friendship that could always be relied upon.

And then things changed. For both girls their world turned upside down and inside out, and they are no longer best friends. Little Ayu, 11 is now in fact, 14-year-old Norazila's step-mother. Step-mother number three, to be exact. Norazila's father, Che Abdul Karim Che Abdul Hamid, 41, a rubber trader decided he must have Ayu as his third wife. "My best friend is my stepmother now. It doesn't make any sense", Norazila mused unhappily.

Now the marriage of the 41-year-old to the 11-year-old child has consumed public interest and outrage in Malaysia, a Muslim majority country where it is permissible under Sharia law, for a Muslim man to enjoy multiple wives. Wife number two is anything but delighted; she posted photographs on Facebook of the marriage ceremony, with her notation "Happy Wedding" to register her disgust.

Malaysian society isn't quite certain how it would like to react, and how its society should be viewing this age-old custom that the Prophet Mohammad himself, after all, was a proponent of, having himself 'married' a child, Aisha, all of six years old, but considerately waited until she was nine to 'consummate' the marriage. In July Ayu was taken to hospital for a virginity test, then reunited with her husband.

Although her husband claims "I love her", he has promised not to "touch" her until she reaches 16 years of age. Evidently he couldn't just wait for her to attain that age before broaching marriage with her parents, poor Thai immigrants, anxious to place their child in a prosperous situation for her future. Mr. Che Abdul Karim has six children with his two other wives.

Non-Muslim Malaysians under civil law may not marry until a girl is 18 years of age. The ethnic Malay majority Muslims, however, live under Islamic law where a Sharia court grants permission for minors under age 16 to marry. With approval from Sharia authorities no minimum age for marriage even exists. And according to Malaysian activists, about 15,000 girls under age 15 are in child marriages.

UNICEF estimates 650 million girls worldwide were wed prior to turning 18. On occasion, Malaysian girls who have been raped end up married to their rapists. Charged with the statutory rape of a 14-year-old girl, the charge was dropped once a man married the girl he raped. In response to their husband's lust for an 11-year-old child, the older two wives of Mr. Che Abdul Karim have offered him an ultimatum.

"We have said to him, it is us or that girl. We said, you choose. You cannot have all three of us", said Ms. Siti Noor. "Their father never takes care of them", she said of her two toddlers. "He doesn't even like children. Except one. That Ayu. He is so stingy with us, but he has enough money to get married to Ayu and take her on holiday."