Brand It!
How perfectly droll. A British tourism group of experts has had the brilliant idea of developing a tourism mecca for travellers who wish to see the truly unusual; the Palestinian West Bank. Now that is unusual, admit it. As an international travel destination, that is. An environment that has more than its share of thrills. On the one hand the historicity of its ancient landscape is unparalleled in the Christian world of traditions. A landscape that has seen, throughout antiquity and quite beyond, more than its share of drama, of religion-inspired butchery on quite the scale.And of course the nature of the natural landscape itself, from the ancient towns of biblical provenance, to the gently rolling hills and hummocks of a truly primitive geography. There one can also see the phenomenon of a lake, the Dead Sea whose surface and shores are measured at 1385 feet below sea level; that marks the lowest elevation on dry land on this planet of ours. Of course tourists will also be able to marvel at newer structures imposed on the landscape, such as the wall separating Jews from Arabs. It's so often been claimed that good fences make good neighbours, but in this instance, that fence equates with live Jews.
Tourists will be able to thrill to real-time assaults of suicide bombers on their neighbours. Can't get too much more dramatic than that, can you? They can take part in workshops, learning how to put together suicide vests, and explosive devices, even those crude rockets. Which they can then gain experience with, lobbing them over into Israel. Now that's exciting, wot? If they're really in the mood they can experience what it feels like to venture into the networks of tunnels, and help smuggle arms and explosives into Gaza, too, not just the West Bank.
But then there's also the social side of life in Palestinian towns. How about some gay-bashing? If that's too tame, because it can also be done at home, although not quite on the same scale, think about how attractive it would be to really let loose all those anti-Semitic feelings you've got to keep at least minimally restrained at home. In the West Bank you can wait for Jewish travellers to whiz by roadways and perfect your rock-tossing aim. That can be lots of fun, too. You can join some of the regulars and look out for young Jewish backpackers, and if they're not sufficiently alert, you can teach them that in future, they should be.
Of course these British experts realize there are some obstacles in the way of really enthusing potential tourists to the area. There's a lack of suitable holiday infrastructure; you know, glitzy hotels, high-priced vehicle rentals, gourmet foods, those irritating little details. People can be so demanding. As one of them admits: "There is an image problem that needs to be addressed". How's that for typical British understatement? On the other hand, if the focus is on tourists just looking to have a little fun, the soccer fans could be brought over. Now there's a passionate group of holidayers who know how to have a good time. They make their good times in the right environment.
And that's, assuredly, the right environment. Recent news of the area has it that weapons are coming into Palestinian Authority towns at an accelerating rate, courtesy of 'good-will gesture' now-removed IDF checkpoints. How's this for romantic? The weapons are smuggled from the Sinai Peninsula in Egypt to Israel's Negev desert, from where they are finally taken into the West Bank. Isn't that perfectly, wonderfully, biblical? All those fabled, romantic, biblical names. And as a tourist, what an experience! Imagine, really interested tourists can line up to hear inflamed rhetoric about the Palestinians eventually rousting the Jews. No more Israel...exciting!
Might get to see some Israel Defence Forces troops. They'd make for some quite interesting target shooting. And then see things heat up! Wow, just think, being in the middle of all that commotion; history in the making, and you're part of it! Psst, even those terrorists you hear so much about, they might welcome some relief. You know, give them a hand, like a good fella. Take yer pick; rocks, or firebombs, or rifles. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, for a truly unique experience. Worth every penny of your tourism dollar.
All in good fun, of course, in a spirit of good fellowship and empathy. For the underdog.
Labels: Adventure, Middle East, Peace
posted by Pieface @ Tuesday, October 13, 2009
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